“Maybe I’ll succeed today,” he thought.
“Maybe this will be the day that I am not a total screw up and botch each opportunity that comes my way.”
Tom sighed. It was as much an internal action as an external. He was doing it again. He was falling back into old patterns, familiar ways of thinking about himself and his abilities. He glanced up to heaven, seeking some form of miraculous sign.
“Can’t I be free of myself?”
He shocked himself, when he heard those words. They hadn’t stayed inside, but made the mad dash from his mind to his mouth. Tom scanned the used car lot to see if there were any customers or fellow employees around that might have heard his unintentional confession. The last thing he wanted was to have people thinking that he was a quack. They already thought that he was the worst used car sales man in town, he didn’t need to battle through more negativity.
A quick look back and forth revealed no one, to which Tom sighed again, this time in relief. But that relief was short lived.
“Hey Tommy, I know why you aren’t be free. Because you suck. That’s why.”