It was going to be the happiest day of my life.

I was prepared to ask my girlfriend to marry me. I had been thinking about it for months, and now the time had come. I had it all planned out. I was going to take her down to the little duck pond in the park, get into one of those little row boats and head for the middle of the pond.

I would overwhelm her with my love. I would tell her how beautiful she was. How I loved her dark locks, the way they bounced as she run. How I loved her deep eyes, a soulful blue that was unlike anything else in the world. How I loved her touch, her smell. I would tell her how brilliant she was. How she was the bright star in a dark void. My mind was filled with cheesy metaphors. I could feel them rising up inside me. It was going to be great.

Then she send me a text. It said, “It’s over. Don’t luv U anymore. L8r loser. Brad is better.”

I looked up and said, “Today can’t get any worse.”

That was the day the nukes were dropped.