Sad Man

I’m a failure.

It has been 30 days into this year and I have already completely botched up my New Year’s Resolution. I have tried to stick with it. I have followed all the helpful hints that the Internet has for me. I have given myself pep talks, encouraged myself to the point of inflating my head with ego. I have downloaded every app and read every blog that there is on the subject.

And still, 30 days later, and I am not further ahead than I was on January 1st.

I am the world’s worst super villain.

I don’t know what to do, I cannot for the life of me find an arch nemesis, or just a nemesis, or someone that will try to stop me when I am trying to succeed in my villainous plots. I try to rob a bank, and the security guards don’t even try to stop me. They help me more than my henchmen do.

My life is in shambles, and there seems to be no hope for me.

The League Of Terrible People That Want To Rule The World continually refuse my application. I’m lost. What is a poor, helpless villain to do?