Why is there a traffic cone in that tree?

“Well, It started with a game of baseball in the street. Damian had a bunch of kids over for a video game marathon party. They were going to, until Damian’s little sister poured her juice all over the console in a fit of rage.

“So that sent all the boys outside, looking for something to do. Since there was about 10 of them, they settled on baseball.

But the traffic cone, why is it in the tree?

“I’m getting there. I have to stop and interject there, and talk about Damian.

“Damian wasn’t always his name. Originally, they called him Lucas. He was a smart, fun loving kid. But on his sixth birthday..”

Let me guess. He went evil. Turned into the spawn of Satan. He demanded that his name be changed to Damian.

“Yeah. It was the scariest thing. His eyes went all red..”

Look. If you don’t know how the traffic cone got up there, fine. But I’ve had enough of your stupid rehashing of the Omen.

“Fine. Damian impaled one of his friends with it. His parents threw it up there, trying to hide the evidence. You happy?”