Dear Reg of 2026,

Hi. It’s Reg from 2016.

I’m writing this letter to you now so that in a decade you will be able to look back and see what you should have learned, but most likely forgot about.

These aren’t huge life lessons, but things that you should remember.

One, just because the stove element isn’t bright red doesn’t mean that it isn’t still hot.

Two, under no circumstances should you be saying the words, “Hey, watch this.” You are way too old to be doing physical stunts for your children’s amusement. It will only lead to pain, embarrassment, and less than 100 hits on YouTube.

Three, check the label of Campbell’s soup before purchasing, preparing, and eating. Just because you think you see the word “Chicken” on the can doesn’t mean that it is soup you want. There is a small chance that it is Sea Chicken Stew, which is nothing like Chicken Noodle and will most likely lead to a 24-hour vomit fest in your home.

I realize that this has been a short list, but these events changed 2016 for me. I hope you remember them.

In pain from my foolishness,

Reg of 2016

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